Mahammad invented diapers

When you gotta go, you gotta go

A Story From the Hadith: Living Translation

I overheard the Prophet’s apostle’s sister’s brother-in-law tell a story of how a small child sat on Muhammad’s lap and drenched the prophet’s robes in a righteous golden shower.

When the child’s father saw what his son had done, he assumed a spanking position because, hell, you just don’t piss on Muhammad, the man has troops at his disposal. But Muhammad wasn’t upset with the child and said to the father, “No problem, bro, this robe is a poly blend. It’ll wash right off.”

But the father of the child was having a bad day already and sheesh, couldn’t that little bastard pee on someone else less holy? Muhammad saw the father’s intent and continued,

“We’ve all done it, man, that’s why we go commando under these robes. Swinging freedom and ease of tinkling. Chill.

You spank this kid in front of all these people and you’ll crush his self-esteem so much he’ll grow up to be a vengeful terrorist.” And all those assembled saw that Muhammad loved children.

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