A World Teacher Moves Districts to Get Tenure

If you want a religion full of benevolent aliens and Christ-like spirits, but Scientology is just not “out there” enough for you, why not follow the teachings of Benjamin Crème?

In the 1970s, Crème, a British painter, began preaching about Maitreya the World Teacher, a messiah who will appear on all the world’s TV stations to telepathically talk about his return to Earth. The Teacher will be accompanied by a celestial posse, The Masters of Wisdom -- a benevolent race of groovy aliens from Venus who will serve custodians of the Divine Plan for the planet. Of course, it’s possible Crème may have misinterpreted the term “custodian,” and instead of a divine plan, we may be in for door-to-door visits from an intergalactic janitorial service.

Although Maitreya is the name Buddhists use for the future Buddha, Crème has covered all the religious bases, saying Maitreya is also called the Messiah, Christ, Krishna and… well, you get he picture. In return for his testimony, Crème says he will be rewarded with a prominent role in the Divine Plan. Having earned a degree in the eternally marketable field of esoteric philosophy, Crème can obviously use the work.