Aliens did it
Intelligent Design with a twist.
Raelians: Art is (Extraterrestrial) Life
The Raelian movement takes big-name concepts of mind, body and spirit, adds a dash of UFO conspiracy theory and combines them into a controversial stew of theology, human history, scientific discovery and little green men. Read More...
Dum dum dum dum dum dum.
All About the Mormons?
Watch the South Park sermon on Joseph Smith and find out why Mormons are such pussies. Watch Episode...
Land of Vice
Enlightenment, without the electric light
While most sects of Christianity have been accused of being somewhat behind the times, The Amish order revels in its reputation for anachronism. Read More...
Axis of Allah
Sunni days, Shiite nights
Axis of Allah
The management principles of Farrakhan, Hussein, and Ahmadinejad.
The Big Three
Jews, Jesus Freaks, and Jihad
Which spiritual sibling are you?
See what birthing order reveals about your favorite major religion. Read More...
Muslim women get in the swim of things
Evolution of the Burkini
No need to shave or wax to prepare for a day of sun and surf anymore. The summer fashion world has taken a big step back to the dark ages by introducing the ultimate in modest swimwear – the Burkini. Read More...
Holy Shit, it's Holy Land!
Holy Shit, it's Holy Land
If you want to avoid the crass commercialism of Disneyworld but still want a wholesome family vacation in Florida, why not head to Holy Land, a theme park experience dedicated to discovery of the Bible. Read More...
Jesus ♥'s Raptors
What Jesus had to say about Velociraptors.
The Deity and the Dinosaur
Dinosaurs were the first creatures kicked out of the Garden of Eden when a T-Rex ate Adam’s first wife Lilith whole. Read More...
Jew not a Jew
You want my what-skin?
Time to play “Jew, not a Jew”
Once you are born a Jew, you can never not be a Jew, no matter what. It’s the Jason Voorhees of religions. Read More...
Endless suffering can be seen in these fine films.
A history of the oppressors of G-d’s chosen people.
Ever since G-d made Abraham trim the tip off his son’s penis, people have been having their way with the Jews. Read More...
Keep up with that shiksa daughter-in-law of yours.
Kosher Cellphones for the Observant Jew
Even those who strictly follow the laws of their ancient ancestors can appreciate the value of modern convenience. Read More...
As told by Tony Genelli from Brooklyn
Jesus Christ and the Last Family Supper
Jesus finally realizes sumthin’... He thought it was this Jew king, Herod, that set him up, but he sez, as they’re takin him away to get whacked, “I didn’t know until this very moment, it was Caiaphas all along.” Read More...
When you gotta go, you gotta go
Mahammad invented diapers
I overheard the Prophet’s apostle’s sister’s brother-in-law tell a story of how a small child sat on Muhammad’s lap and drenched the prophet’s robes in a righteous golden shower... Read More...
Worst Jews Ever
Anti-Zionist Orthodox Jews side with Iran
The Neturei Karta is an anti-Zionist sect of Orthodox Judaism that denounces the Israeli government as heretics for its efforts to obtain and secure a sovereign state before the return of the Messiah. Read More...
It’s just not working out.
Top 95 Reasons We Don’t Like You Anymore
It was a long, ugly breakup. During the Reformation, Martin Luther and other agitators seized the Pope by the balls and wouldn’t let go until they had formed their own distinct religious identity. Read More...
God Hates Fags
...and most everybody else.
Westboro Baptist Church
Though best known for their “God Hates Fags” website and rallying cry, they are also known to pick on those who can’t defend themselves, like dead American soldiers who have fallen victim to the war in Iraq. Read More...
World Teacher Moves Districts to Get Tenure
If you want a religion full of benevolent aliens and Christ-like spirits, but Scientology is just not “out there” enough for you, why not follow the teachings of Benjamin Crème? Read More...
Prehistoric Pagan Penis Pretty Pissed
How to piss off those peacenik pagans
British pagans, those wood-nymph worshipping naturalists, recently got their Irish up when a landmark of their well-known fertility symbol was caricatured in a stunt to promote a cartoon movie. Read More...
Pirates vs. Global Warming
FSM: Meatball theology or starchy savior?
If religion is the opiate of the masses, then Pastafarianism is surely their starchy diabetic coma. Read More...
The Amsterdam THC Ministry
F.U.C.K.ed up and ready to see God
Turns out your local long-haired pot dealer may not be a lazy, aging hippie after all. He could be a spiritual shaman for The Amsterdam THC Ministry. Read More...
A checklist for cult-ly responsibility
Got Your Nike's?
In March of 1997, 38 members of a group of web developers, called Heaven’s Gate, participated in a mass suicide that coincided with the appearance of the Hale-Bopp comet. Read More...
666: Your lucky number
Unicorns de los Apocalypse
Self-styled deity and Latino cultist, Jose Luis de Jesus Miranda, believes he is both Jesus and the Antichrist. Read More...
The One True Satanist
Satanic Baptism: How to Protect Your Kids
Preaching individualism and self indulgence over everything else, LaVey’s left-handed path to his religion truly bit the hand that feeds – and then sucked out its blood. Read More...
The Rael World
Aliens, Swastikas, and Sex
Take me to your divinely brilliant leader
Not to be confused with the church of Ray Liotta, the Raelians believe that aliens landed on earth. Read More...
Message from the Designers
Art is (Extraterrestrial) Life
Raelism is a fascinating theoretical explanation of life, the universe and everything that no one possibly takes seriously. Read More...
Xenu is my Homeboy
The pinnacle of Me-Ology
Scientology is a fascinating study in just how far a wild imagination, unchecked ego and unlimited bank account can take you on this earth (and apparently beyond). Read More...
Give me Slack or Give me Death
Church of the SubGenius
A combination of religion, belief in UFOs and a love of pop culture, The Church of the SubGenius rewards those who seek a less boring path than being told what to do with their lives. Read More...
Have some Kool-Aid
Your Guide to the Afterlife
So you want to kill yourself in the name of religion? Not all suicide cults are created equal, so you’ll want to pick the one that best matches your personality and eternity goals. Read More...
Up & Coming
Third Party Religion
Who will take the crown of thorns?
Which of these religions has what it takes to eat at God’s big table and lead its people to the holy land? Keep an eye out for these young upstarts of spiritual worship. Read More...
Little House on the Compound
Child brides and plural wives
FLDS leader Warren Jeffs says if there’s grass on the holy fields, why not pray, ball? Read More...
Thy Daily Babel
Jesus Christ and His Magic Kingdom
Christianity began in the year 0001; coincidentally, the same year a carpenter’s wife named Mary had gotten mysteriously knocked up. Figuring that he could be worse off than taking sloppy seconds to the Creator, Joseph hung around until the birth of her baby, whom she named Jesus.
Joseph seemingly raised Jesus as his own son, mostly for the baby shower gifts that were bestowed upon the family (you should never look gift frankincense in the mouth), and tried to teach him the family trade. While Jesus never showed much of an aptitude for nailing pieces of wood together, he eventually found that he was quite good other things, like healing the sick, walking on water, and changing water into wine – all of which made for good back-up careers, and entertaining party tricks.
Raelians: Take me to your divinely brilliant leader
Not to be confused with the church of Ray Liotta, the Raelians believe that aliens landed on earth, insisted that they designed all life on earth and asked that they be able to make contact with government officials through an embassy. Though the sect obviously watched a few too many “take us to your leader” sci-fi movies, they may have gotten a few things right. In fact, if humans followed their beliefs that the world would be better off if geniuses were given exclusive right to govern, we would never have been subjected to “The Governator” or the presidency of George W. Bush.
Unicorns de los Apocalypse
Self-styled deity and Latino cultist, Jose Luis de Jesus Miranda, believes he is both Jesus and the Antichrist -- a concept that he defines as “no longer following Jesus of Nazareth as he lived in the days of the flesh”. Perhaps he needs a better Spanish-to-English dictionary.
In Miami, de Jesus founded Creciendo en Gracia, a movement that reaches dozens of Central and South American nations and aims to create God’s government on earth. Yet, his main assertions make both God and government pretty much irrelevant, as he denies that prayer, the devil, hell, sin or moral or ethical guidelines have any basis in reality.
So what is reality for de Jesus? Well, tattoos, for starters: all his followers are asked to get 666 tattooed on their bodies. Maybe he also needs to see The Omen again to remember that the true Antichrist is born with the mark of the beast – he doesn’t have to have it poked into his flesh by the chick from Miami Ink.